Having failed so completely miserably at my "detox," I shouldn't have been at all surprised by my yearly physical, which I underwent last week, and which revealed that I can't have any more pasta, bread, rice or fun. My doctor is wonderful, really a smart man who is not at all an alarmist, which is what I want in a doctor. But I also had a consultation with another doctor who told me that I needed "weight bearing exercise" and that I could find this by getting off the bus one stop early and walking the extra two blocks. Then she warned me that if I break my hip, I could develop sepsis in the hospital and drown in my pneumonia. Clearly she had not read my chart to indicate my age, or maybe I had just gone into the wrong room. Or maybe this was my doctor's way of telling me that I am aging prematurely. I mean, can't they at least wait until I am forty for this shit? Jeez! But, if I am aging prematurely, maybe I can have a second career in the videos of Die Antwoord.
Showing posts with label Detox. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Detox. Show all posts
Friday, January 21, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Saturday, January 8
12:30 PM
My son had a soccer game this morning. They actually scored four goals, so it was a big deal. Of course the other team scored about twelve before I stopped counting. As my son says, he has the best soccer team that has never won a game. After the game we went to lunch and I "shared" a grilled vegetable and mozzarella sandwich with my daughter. Also had a coffee. Seem to have totally forgotten about the whole detox business. When did that happen?
8:15 PM
Detox Shmetox Spaghetti Bolognese. Also garlic bread and arugula salad. And a glass of wine while I was making the sauce, and one while I was eating the sauce. I still have work to do for the benefit tomorrow night, so will be up for a while and anticipate additional wine. I will most likely drink several bottles of wine when that is over, so perhaps the day to begin a detox is Monday. Perhaps. My daughter is reading this over my shoulder and wants me to say "My daughter is the BEST girl ever." She's like that. Here is what I am listening to right now:
My son had a soccer game this morning. They actually scored four goals, so it was a big deal. Of course the other team scored about twelve before I stopped counting. As my son says, he has the best soccer team that has never won a game. After the game we went to lunch and I "shared" a grilled vegetable and mozzarella sandwich with my daughter. Also had a coffee. Seem to have totally forgotten about the whole detox business. When did that happen?
8:15 PM
Detox Shmetox Spaghetti Bolognese. Also garlic bread and arugula salad. And a glass of wine while I was making the sauce, and one while I was eating the sauce. I still have work to do for the benefit tomorrow night, so will be up for a while and anticipate additional wine. I will most likely drink several bottles of wine when that is over, so perhaps the day to begin a detox is Monday. Perhaps. My daughter is reading this over my shoulder and wants me to say "My daughter is the BEST girl ever." She's like that. Here is what I am listening to right now:
Friday, January 7, 2011
Friday, January 7
12:45 AM
Went to the theater and saw Blood From A Stone tonight. If you are in NYC, or anywhere nearby, you should see this play. I loved it. Stayed out way too late, and was starving, and then accidentally ate two pieces of pizza. Two, incidentally, is the same number of times that my daughter kicked the babysitter.
8:30
Snowing. Big, fat flakes of snow and I am mortally exhausted. Took a cab home from dropping the kids at school and went right to the diner and had two eggs over medium, rye toast, hash browns, orange juice and coffee.
8:00 PM
It was actually a good thing that I had that huge breakfast, because I didn't get another chance to eat all day, what with all the running around I was doing. We got take out for dinner. Thai. I had something called "Green Noodles" which was like a pesto made with thai herbs, also spring rolls and papaya salad. I tossed the leftovers because you can't eat Thai two days in a row unless you are in Thailand. Now I am sitting in front of a fire, and the kids are watching Pippi Longstocking. I am so glad my kids aren't friends with Pippi Longstocking.
Went to the theater and saw Blood From A Stone tonight. If you are in NYC, or anywhere nearby, you should see this play. I loved it. Stayed out way too late, and was starving, and then accidentally ate two pieces of pizza. Two, incidentally, is the same number of times that my daughter kicked the babysitter.
8:30
Snowing. Big, fat flakes of snow and I am mortally exhausted. Took a cab home from dropping the kids at school and went right to the diner and had two eggs over medium, rye toast, hash browns, orange juice and coffee.
8:00 PM
It was actually a good thing that I had that huge breakfast, because I didn't get another chance to eat all day, what with all the running around I was doing. We got take out for dinner. Thai. I had something called "Green Noodles" which was like a pesto made with thai herbs, also spring rolls and papaya salad. I tossed the leftovers because you can't eat Thai two days in a row unless you are in Thailand. Now I am sitting in front of a fire, and the kids are watching Pippi Longstocking. I am so glad my kids aren't friends with Pippi Longstocking.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Tuesday, January 4
8:24 AM
The hamster was unusually active this morning. My son was watching her and screamed, "The top is open!!!" Her little sky dome, where she spends most of her time, is in two pieces which screw together with a chunky red screw. Well, this morning that screw was missing!
The thing is, she spends so much time up there that she could have gotten out at any point if it were off. And yesterday, after I cleaned the cage, it would have been hard to put the sky dome back on without the screw. So either it was left off all night, someone removed it during the night, one of the kids took it out (probably the girl) and lied about it (although I can usually tell when she's lying), OR this hamster is a genius. Flowers for Algernon, anyone? I had a coffee, removed the sky dome, and am heading to the gym, and then I guess to the pet store for a new play area for her. Maybe it is for the best, as the cage seems too small for her big personality and I'd like to get her one of these:
The hamster was unusually active this morning. My son was watching her and screamed, "The top is open!!!" Her little sky dome, where she spends most of her time, is in two pieces which screw together with a chunky red screw. Well, this morning that screw was missing!
1:00 PM
Today is one of those days where I don't stop running around all day long. Kind of like the hamster. And that is enough about the hamster. Could only manage a quick two miles at the gym and had to go to the kids' school because I do a book club with my son's class. We are reading The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, so it's awesome. My husband and I have also organized a benefit for the school, so I have been soliciting donations from people, AND was almost, just barely not, in a car accident. The cab driver started yelling at the other driver, who had run through a stop sign. He actually said, "I got the right of way Toothless!" which was pretty great. Am home for ten minutes and ate an egg. I know, I know. And surprise surprise - the rest of Bittman's salad, now gone very limp in the bowl.
Almost forgot... The paperback of my book is out today! Buy one for yourself, and one for your friend HERE!
4:00 PM
Had one of those lil cottage cheese guys.
7:00 PM
Had a salad. Arugula. Also some cheese. Emmentaler.
7:45
Sisters! Ha ha! Sisters are the best, and if you have them you know what I mean. I saw my sister Lindsay tonight, and we had some wine, and some very welcome chit chat. I admired her new decor, and flat screen tv, and super cute sneakers made out of sweatshirts that she bought in San Francisco. Cote du Rhone.
9:50 PM
Home. Famished. A little tipsy. Foraged in the fridge and came up with only leftover lentil soup which was even better than yesterday, but sadly, not enough, and am still hungry. What should I eat? More cheese? Nuts? Ugh.
Monday, January 3, 2011
January 3
8:45 AM
Woke up this morning at the ungodly hour of 5:30 for no reason at all, and totally convinced myself that someone was breaking into my house. Turned out to be the stupid hamster tossing her food down the tube thing. Had a tall skim cappuccino with one pump of sugar free caramel. Now I'm at the Apple Store listening to a big fight at the Genius Bar - he says her kid broke the iPad by using inferior German headphones, but she says that is bullshit!
I'm going home.
10:30 AM
Had an egg and more of Bittman's salad, as well a nice cup of Constant Comment because it is so fuddy duddy delicious. I'm eating a lot of eggs. The thought of eating a lot of eggs makes me never want to eat an egg again. Eggs are really revolting when you think about it. Even the word "egg" sounds awful, like it should mean "phlegm," as in, "When I had pneumonia I coughed up a huge egg." Once I saw a photo of a premature egg - they eat them in places like France. Made me want to puke. If you want to see that, and more, click here.
12:07 PM
Sometimes cashews taste like chocolate, and sometimes they taste like bark.
3:00 PM
Spent 45 minutes on the elliptical reading The Passage. Came home and had one of those cottage cheese cups.
7:15 PM
Made a delicious red lentil soup for dinner, very spicy and fragrant with cumin and lemon, without any rice or potatoes. Also had an arugula salad.
9:06 PM
I'm trying to get the hamster to like me, so every night I put a little treat on my hand and try to get her to eat off of it. Tonight I had a pecan in my palm, and lo and behold, she climbed right up with her soft little feet, picked it up and ate it. She didn't even run away with it to her sky dome like she did last week. She just sat there eating her nut. She made it look so tasty... So now I'm eating some nuts. Stealing the hamster treats...
Woke up this morning at the ungodly hour of 5:30 for no reason at all, and totally convinced myself that someone was breaking into my house. Turned out to be the stupid hamster tossing her food down the tube thing. Had a tall skim cappuccino with one pump of sugar free caramel. Now I'm at the Apple Store listening to a big fight at the Genius Bar - he says her kid broke the iPad by using inferior German headphones, but she says that is bullshit!
I'm going home.
10:30 AM
Had an egg and more of Bittman's salad, as well a nice cup of Constant Comment because it is so fuddy duddy delicious. I'm eating a lot of eggs. The thought of eating a lot of eggs makes me never want to eat an egg again. Eggs are really revolting when you think about it. Even the word "egg" sounds awful, like it should mean "phlegm," as in, "When I had pneumonia I coughed up a huge egg." Once I saw a photo of a premature egg - they eat them in places like France. Made me want to puke. If you want to see that, and more, click here.
12:07 PM
Sometimes cashews taste like chocolate, and sometimes they taste like bark.
3:00 PM
Spent 45 minutes on the elliptical reading The Passage. Came home and had one of those cottage cheese cups.
7:15 PM
Made a delicious red lentil soup for dinner, very spicy and fragrant with cumin and lemon, without any rice or potatoes. Also had an arugula salad.
9:06 PM
I'm trying to get the hamster to like me, so every night I put a little treat on my hand and try to get her to eat off of it. Tonight I had a pecan in my palm, and lo and behold, she climbed right up with her soft little feet, picked it up and ate it. She didn't even run away with it to her sky dome like she did last week. She just sat there eating her nut. She made it look so tasty... So now I'm eating some nuts. Stealing the hamster treats...
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Sunday, January 2
So maybe "detox" is too strong a word. Okay, so I had a little cocktail last night. BUT I used only the faintest splash of sugar free cranberry, and I didn't eat any of the chips or dip on hand, nor did I go for the rest of the fudge. I'm thinking that perhaps instead of defining this as a "detox" I should just imagine that I am pulling my chair back from the trough on a permanent basis.
11 AM
I made apple pancakes for the kids, and for myself a scrambled egg. Off to the gym.
After the run, went for a swim with my kids, and took them for a snack. The boy had a Cliff Bar, the girl had a muffin and potato salad, and I had only the merest nibble of the potato salad. I wasn't going to have any of it, but potato salad is one of the great foods available to mankind. I had a spinach, ginger, cucumber, apple, lemon juice, and an apple when I got home.
7:00 PM
For dinner had beet greens sauteed with cannellini beans which were surprisingly decadent and creamy. Also made Mark Bittman's cole slaw from today's NY Times, which needed more vinegar than was called for.
9:15 PM
Having more of Bittman's salad. Oh yeah, and a cocktail. Here's the thing. I eat pretty healthy on a regular basis, the gallon of cheese fondue I consumed at Christmas dinner notwithstanding. I don't smoke, don't do drugs, I don't even smoke pot, for those of you who don't consider that a drug. The one thing I do is have a cocktail or glass of wine after my kids are in bed. It makes me feel human and reminds me that, in spite of the fact that my day was mostly taken up with American Girl dolls and this (totally OCD) hamster we have, I am a grown up. Screw it. I'm not giving it up.
Also I weighed myself at the gym (which I never do) and haven't done as much damage as I had thought. Maybe I'll have two.
11 AM
I made apple pancakes for the kids, and for myself a scrambled egg. Off to the gym.
3:30 PM
Ran four miles, listening to this, which made the slog on the treadmill almost enjoyable:
After the run, went for a swim with my kids, and took them for a snack. The boy had a Cliff Bar, the girl had a muffin and potato salad, and I had only the merest nibble of the potato salad. I wasn't going to have any of it, but potato salad is one of the great foods available to mankind. I had a spinach, ginger, cucumber, apple, lemon juice, and an apple when I got home.
7:00 PM
For dinner had beet greens sauteed with cannellini beans which were surprisingly decadent and creamy. Also made Mark Bittman's cole slaw from today's NY Times, which needed more vinegar than was called for.
9:15 PM
Having more of Bittman's salad. Oh yeah, and a cocktail. Here's the thing. I eat pretty healthy on a regular basis, the gallon of cheese fondue I consumed at Christmas dinner notwithstanding. I don't smoke, don't do drugs, I don't even smoke pot, for those of you who don't consider that a drug. The one thing I do is have a cocktail or glass of wine after my kids are in bed. It makes me feel human and reminds me that, in spite of the fact that my day was mostly taken up with American Girl dolls and this (totally OCD) hamster we have, I am a grown up. Screw it. I'm not giving it up.
Also I weighed myself at the gym (which I never do) and haven't done as much damage as I had thought. Maybe I'll have two.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 7:30 PM
I knew dinner was going to be tricky. It was my intention, and my desire to make some sort of vegetable stew, but I had to return something to Bloomingdale's, and they were having this insane sale, so I spent a long time browsing around, and then didn't have time to get to the store for all my vegetables. So I had a veggie burger instead. No bun, but still, a veggie burger isn't really the purest of foods, as it comes from a factory. But I'm doing my best. I also had some lovely things on the side, so there's that.
7:30 PM:
1 Vegan Original Boca Burger
Green salad
Brussel sprouts sauteed lightly in olive oil, then cooked in a vegetable broth with cumin seeds and finished with a squeeze of lemon - delicious.
And this:
...Already getting bummed out about not having a glass of wine (or three). And I've got a whole case. Such a waste.
7:30 PM:
1 Vegan Original Boca Burger
Green salad
Brussel sprouts sauteed lightly in olive oil, then cooked in a vegetable broth with cumin seeds and finished with a squeeze of lemon - delicious.
And this:
Cherry tomatoes, avocado, cucumbers, and shallots in white wine vinegar and olive oil with oregano.
Making several salads as opposed to tossing all the veggies together is something I do frequently, as it seems like you're eating different dishes, and there is more on your plate.
I realized that I have organized this in a really stupid way, so I think that tomorrow I will just edit the breakfast post to include lunch once I have eaten it. So if you really are interested in what I am eating and when, you can just keep reading that post, or you can wait till the end of the day and read the whole thing, OR, and I am not so egomaniacal to rule this out as a very definite and probable option, you can read something else entirely. I'm reading The Passage right now, which my friend Luke gave me, and it is really good.
...Already getting bummed out about not having a glass of wine (or three). And I've got a whole case. Such a waste.
Saturday, January 1 1:45 PM
My husband made grilled cheese sandwiches for everyone, but I just had an apple.
Saturday, January 1
11:30 AM
2 hard boiled eggs, cut into quarters, sprinkled with salt and pepper
Green tea
3 raisins
2 hard boiled eggs, cut into quarters, sprinkled with salt and pepper
Green tea
3 raisins
One lousy walnut
New Year's Day Sucks
Dear Reader,
In the spirit of utter predictability, I have decided to begin this new year with a little bit of a detox for my poor, abused body. Nothing too serious, I shall steer clear of any Master Cleanse-style regimen which inspires raging diarrhea and hallucinations. For me it will be the time tested avoidance of all things that are worth living for - booze, sugar, potatoes, pasta, rice, bread, etc. Ugh, dreading it already.
I've been planning this for a while, like since October, so as you can imagine, I've been gorging myself pretty well. For example, yesterday I consumed the following:
10 AM:
Whole wheat bagel with sausage and egg
Double espresso
Large orange juice
1 PM:
Ham and Cheese on a big, fluffy roll with mayo, mustard and Peppadew peppers
Large Diet Coke
Potato Chips
3 PM:
Pizza
7 PM:
Singapore Mai-Fan
Lettuce Wraps
Spring Rolls
Spinach and cheese fried won ton things
Fried Mushroom things
Sweet and Sour something or other
Coconut Rice
Sauvignon Blanc
Raspberry Napoleon
Mango Pudding
9 PM- 12 AM:
Chips
Dips
Fudge (3 varieties, chocolate, walnut, chocolate-walnut)
Minty Petit Fours
One bottle champagne
1:30 AM:
Just before bed realized that I wouldn't be eating for a while, so obviously ate a meatball sandwich on a big, fluffy roll, with Peppadew peppers.
Out of champagne, so had several glasses of wine.
I woke up this morning, remarkably chipper, perhaps because it was 10:30, but I am ready for my detox, fattened up like a bear ready for hibernation. This week I shall attempt to log here all the food I have eaten, in effort to keep me on track. Wish me luck.
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