Today, I am feeling, for the first time in well over ten days, pretty much human. And, due to the lack of food I have been able to eat, and the millions of calories burned by excessive coughing and sweating, I was able to forage in my closet for some things I have been unable to wear for the past months. Like a nice pair of boots. A few weeks ago, these boots were so tight, that my calf sausaged out over the top. That is disgusting. A muffin top can be easily explained away by contemporary denim fashions not conforming to a realistic idea of women's bodies, whereas a muffin top on your boots can only be explained by muffins.
I am going to enjoy this day or two I have in sudden slender form, as I know it will all come back with one glance at the leftover birthday cake in the fridge. For motivation to keep it off I look here:
She may be smiling now, but she's going to require more than those itty bitty shorts to guard against the rash from her thighs chafing together. Especially after she gets out of the hot tub with Moto Moto.
And now something to put you in the holiday spirt, if you're not there already. Enjoy.