Back to Work Lunch

Dear Reader,

I have had a letter to which many of you will relate.  See for yourself:

Heather,
I had to go back to work today after almost two weeks off, spent at home, with my family.  I couldn't be happier!  My office is cramped, I share it with Julia who breathes really loudly and wears too much perfume, but anything is better than the exhaustion - both emotional and physical that I have from too much family time.  What should I have for lunch to celebrate this fine, if frigid, day?
Yours in Chicago,
Ted

Well Ted, congratulations on surviving the holidays.  I am also suffering from the kind of deep-seated exhaustion on which four cups of coffee have apparently no effect.  What we need are some B vitamins!  Enjoy!

Back to Work Lunch

You will need:

lunch hour
barbecue sauce
bourbon
turkey or other burger

Grab your office mate, cause for this lunch you need a partner.  Head to local establishment that provides the most tasty burger and get two, to go.  Head back to the office and nonchalantly pour bourbon into a cup and drink.  Pour additional bourbon into a separate cup for office mate to drink.  Do not share cup as it is flu season and you stupidly used up all of your sick days to spend time with parents over holidays.  Pour more bourbon into cups and mix with barbecue sauce.  Slather over burger and enjoy with enough additional bourbon to lull you into the deep sleep which is essential to not only your productivity but also your health!  Take turns napping for rest of afternoon, then return to blissfully empty home where you may watch television in underpants or as desired.