Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Don't Give A Damn Yams

Dear Reader,

I have received another letter, this time from a gentleman that is truly in need of my help.  Please read:

Dear Heather,
I want a divorce!  Don't hate me, but my wife is a total nag constantly flirting with my friends.  Problem is, I'm not a total jerk and I don't want to leave her right before the holidays, right?  But we're going to her sister's house for Thanksgiving and they asked me to make the sweet potatoes.  I really couldn't care less and don't even like the stupid things.  Can you help me figure out what to make?
Fed up in Flagstaff,

Ted, you sound like a good guy and I would be happy to help!  For you, a recipe with a negative degree of difficulty is in order.  Enjoy!

Don't Give A Damn Yams

You will need:

3 cans yams
1 bag mini-marshmallows
Splash orange juice

Open up the canned yams.  If you can't find them at your grocery store, check the dollar store, as they are not an in-demand item, yet perfect for your needs.  Dump contents into some sort of dish.  Mash them down with a fork and have a shot of bourbon.  Spit some of bourbon over yams in the dish.  Stir with your finger.  Pour a glass of orange juice and stick your hand in it.  Then flick orange juice all over yams.  Eat some marshmallows because they are soft and yummy.  Scatter some on top of yams.  If you are feeling crafty, spell out "You People Suck" in marshmallow, then stick in the oven at 350 degrees until marshmallows are gooey and brown and as done as your marriage.


  1. love this. this is how my husband cooks...with so much attitude. yet he has the wherewithal to pop open a beer or pour a scotch.

  2. this is fabulous. simplest recipe on earth!

  3. Mmmm..this sounds just how I remember my grandmother's yams. So delicious and simple!

  4. I will have to practice the flicking technique.

  5. I am making this to take to my inlaws for Thanksgiving, spelling out D I V O R C E on the top. I think that is a sincere, thoughtful way to tell them, don't you?? Then I am taking the leftover Bourbon and drinking until they act better!!!


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