Monday, June 13, 2011

Super Surprising Salad for Soon To Be Skinny Moms (and others)

I received a desperate plea from a reader in South Carolina.  See for yourself:

Dear Heather,
It is the end of the school year and my three kids have three separate class potluck dinners and I've got to make something.  Other moms always sign up for the good stuff to bring, like paper plates, so now I've got to make actual food.  I know that what people want are macaroni and brownies, but I'm trying to lose a few pounds so would love to bring something light, but yummy.  It's terrible to be a fat lady eating brownies in front of people.
Thanks in advance,

Sharlene, I feel your pain.  I myself have two potlucks for which to prepare, and I also forgot to sign up early so that I could just bring cups.  However, we are both in luck, as I know of a super delicious, sweet and savory salad that will win you points for both creativity and healthfulness. And like you, I am avoiding brownies for now.  If I were to bring along my current favorite dessert to the potluck, my contribution would be a few bottles of Fat-free Reddi Whip to squirt right into your mouth.  But that is frowned upon by the quinoa/ kale set.  Here you go.  Enjoy.

Super Surprisingly Delicious Salad for Soon To Be Skinny Moms (and others)

You will need:
Olive Oil
Feta cheese

First, buy a 2012 calendar, and mark June 1st with the words "LOOK OUT FOR POTLUCK SIGN UP SHEET."  It would also not be a bad idea to start telling other parents about your surplus paper cups or plastic forks in September, unless they are likely to chastise you for purchasing plastic forks and paper cups in the first place.  If someone does this, then make sure that they are responsible for all the ceramic dish wear and stainless silver wear for each and every potluck from now until their child graduates.  Obtain a watermelon.  Make sure it is as big as your bottom is now, and as firm as you would like it to be.  Chop it into cubes.  Roughly chop mint.  Use enough so that there are abundant flakes of mint throughout the watermelon, but not so much that your watermelon looks like it has been dipped in a bog.  Chop the chives - use a slightly smaller amount than you did mint.  Squeeze limes over everything using soon to be toned biceps and triceps.  Do not attempt to squeeze limes by placing in armpits, as that is disgusting.  Crumble feta cheese, or even fat free feta cheese for those on Weight Watchers (1 point!) over salad in desired quantity.  Drizzle with olive oil - not too much! Sprinkle with salt and toss. 


  1. Hi, I just came across your piece on and popped over to your blog. You are so ridiculously funny and I am so enjoying your writing. Just thought you should know.

    Have a great summer,


  2. Blogger is killing me. Comment? Sure. Post said comment? Not likely.


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