Birthday Cake For An Absurdly Spoiled Six Year Old

Dear Reader,

I have a word of advice for those of you with very young children, or who do not yet have children, but are planning on having them at some point. When the time comes to make their first birthday cake, don't go all crazy trying to make something delicious that will impress everyone. Stick to Duncan Hines. If your children develop a taste for boxed cake early, your life will be much, much easier. I wish I had known, for now it is time to create a cake for my six year old, and she has specifically requested the chocolate cake I make every year, which can be found on Epicurious. Oh, and here's something else - it's not even her birthday. Her birthday is in the summer, so she never gets to spend it with friends. Last year we told her that we would have her birthday party before the end of school, and of course we forgot. But she did not. She has been planning this party for ten months. And it is tonight. I don't go overboard on the birthdays. I let her pick a few friends to come over for a slumber party. But this morning she left me with a long list of tasks which absolutely must be accomplished before I pick her up from school, starting with the cake, and ending with finding a pool for them to swim in tomorrow morning. The pool isn't going to happen, but the cake I can do.  She is a very demanding boss.

She was mulling over two cake options. One was the standard Barbie in the top of the cake princess type of thing, which she's had before. The second was to shape the cake like a building and have the candles be flames coming out the windows and little marzipan people running for their lives. We went for the Barbie so as not to frighten her guests.

Stump Doll.

Stump Doll wearing pasties.

Stump Doll and Barack Obama.  Oh no! Looks like she's lost her pasties!  My kids wonder what I do all day when they are at school, and they would never in a million years imagine this.

I feel about my new mixer the way some people might feel about a new sports car.  It runs so smooth.  Of course I ended up with chocolate splattered all over my shirt.

Here's what is going on right NOW.  The cake is cooking in this big bowl, and I have no idea how long this is going to take. The recipe says that a normal cake will take about an hour.  So how long for this big bowl cake? I've got to frost the damn thing and put some clothes on Stump Doll before picking the girls up at 3:00. 

Tada!  It took about two hours to bake, and when I iced her, she was still warm, so her dress is a bit limp, but still very yummy.