Lonely Lady's Pizza

I have been super busy lately and I realized that I forgot to tell you all about the pizza I made TWO WEEKS AGO.  I was home with the kids, the husband working, and I would rather have been out with friends, but couldn't get a sitter.  Boo.  So I made myself a Lonely Lady's Pizza.

I have tried many pizza dough recipes, but my favorite, by a landslide, is Jaime Oliver's.  His dough rolls really easily, and bakes to a nice crisp with a desirable chew.  I simply dissolve one packet of dried yeast in one cup of warm water with a couple glugs of olive oil and a pinch of sugar.  Then I break out my baking sheet  - one that has edges, so I don't make a huge mess, sift together 3 1/2 cups bread flour, 1 1/2 tsp salt, make a well in the center and pour in the yeast once it is foamy.  Then I stir gently, incorporating the flour into the yeasty water until I have a doughy mess.  Then I knead, form into a ball and put it in a bowl, dusted with flour, to rise for about an hour.  This makes enough for two pizzas, perfect for a night spent home with the kids.

 Dough ready for rolling.

Meanwhile, I make the sauce, which is also Jaime Oliver's, and involves heating olive oil in a pan with 2 cloves of garlic, sliced.  Throw in a handful of fresh basil and one 28 oz can of whole tomatoes.  I squeeze the tomatoes as I put them in to break them up more easily.  Season with salt and pepper - and I also put in either a squeeze of Agave or a pinch of sugar.  Mash up the tomatoes as best as possible, then bring to a boil and strain through a sieve.  This part is kind of a pain, because you really have to press hard to get the stuff through the sieve, and keep wiping off the back of the sieve where the good stuff is, a task best accomplished with a rubber spatula.  Someone should really invent an easier tool for this process.  If they already have, please let me know.  Pour the sauce back into the pan and simmer until it seems as thick as sauce should be.

Sauce simmering.

Achievement of a fairly standard shaped pizza, thanks to Mr. Oliver.

This particular pizza was made fancy by the use of a cheese purchased at Lucy's Whey in Chelsea Market.  I can't recall what it was called exactly, but it was something like "Whackadoodle."  You could use Talleggio.

Also on this pizza were spinach, sauteed with garlic and chili flakes, and Gruyere, who is my best friend.

Sorry, kid.  Get your own.

I'm sharing this song with you, because it is perhaps the best song ever written for someone feeling lonely.  Try and find the live version, on an album called "Never Mind the Quality: Feel the Soul"

Spicy As Hell and so so good!

Dear Reader,

This morning I awoke, tired and limp from a night spent with relatives in town from the grand old United Kingdom and our mutual friend Ketel One.  I fed the children, sent them off to school, sat on the sofa and stared into space for thirty minutes, then headed off to the diner, desperate for some eggs and toast.  It wasn't so much the eggs and toast that I was looking forward to.  No.  The eggs and toast, and especially the potatoes on the side, were mere vehicles for my most favorite, delicious, mind-blowing, soul-satisfying condiment of the moment.  Spicy As Hell Hot Sauce.

About two weeks ago I was picking the kids up from school when another mother asked, casually, "Do you like hot sauce?"  I answered that I did like hot sauce.  "I'm brewing up a batch.  I'll bring you a bottle," she said.  Let me tell you, I am no hot sauce connoisseur.  I sometimes like spicy things, but you wouldn't find me nibbling on a habanero.  That is to say, I'm not a hot sauce junkie.  Or I wasn't until now.

Maria's Spicy As Hell Hot Sauce is indeed spicy as hell.  But it's also tart, redolent of garlic and has a vinegary edge that I can't get enough of.  I realized this morning, when I put it on the table at the diner, that it is a rather peculiar thing to carry about in my pocket.  And I have been doing that regularly. Having lunch with Mom?  Gotta remember the hot sauce!  It's good on sandwiches, chips, chicken, lentils, drizzled on a taco, mixed with a little ketchup and slathered on a burger, it perfectly enhances a frittata, and absolutely must have restorative properties, because as I write this, I feel like a new woman.

I am lucky to count Maria as a friend, and thereby have access to this amazing sauce, but you can get some, too.  She sells it on Etsy.  She makes each batch fresh to order, there are no preservatives.  I implore you to try some.  You won't know what hit you.

Monday morning music.

A little later today I will tell you all about the outstanding pizza I made for myself this past lonely Friday night.  For now, I thought you might enjoy some music for this Monday morning.  I'm always looking for easy songs to play on my guitar, as I'm not a very good guitarist, and this one fits the bill.  I dare you not to sing along.

A Neeeeeeeeeew Mixer!

I haven't felt much like writing about anything, on account of the horrors I am watching in Japan.  But this conversation sort of snapped me out of it.  Keep in mind that he is nine, and she is six.

Daughter: How long would it take for an ant to walk around the perimeter of the whole earth?

Son: I don’t know.

Daughter: How long?!

Son: First, to answer that question I would have to know what the perimeter of the earth is.  Second, an ant would spend it’s entire life just walking across one country – one state.

Daughter: Just TELL ME!

Son: I can’t.

Daughter: You asshole.

So it seems that now is as good a time as any to tell you about the new mixer I was sent by those good people at CSN Stores.  I had pretty much destroyed my old mixer making gingerbread houses last Christmas.  It was a Black and Decker that I had picked up at Rite Aid after destroying the previous mixer making gingerbread houses the prior Christmas.  The new mixer is a Cuisinart and she is a beaut! 

This is the Power Advantage Five Speed Mixer - POW!!!  This baby would normally run you seventy five smackers, but CSN Stores has it available for $39.85.  Pa-POW!

I had a surplus of strawberries, owing to the fact that the local market had a two for one special and I bought two packs (are they called packs?) and my husband had gone in later that day and also bought two packs.  So, you see I had four packs of strawberries.  I made a little strawberry tart.

The Cuisinart Power Advantage comes with a booklet telling you what each speed is used for.  Here I whip together one cup marscapone with 1/3 cup heavy cream and 1/4 cup sugar, on speed numero three.

Ooh la la!  I love this mixer.  LOVE IT.  It runs so smooth, with no hand-numbing rattling, even on the higher speeds.  And trust me, I tried ALL the speeds.

The crust was made by grinding up some almonds, pecans, cinnamon, sugar, butter and flour in the food processor.  Honestly, I wrote down the amounts of each that I used, but I think my husband threw out the paper it was written on.  He's very tidy.  Too tidy, clearly.  While I baked the crust at 375 for about twelve minutes, I plopped about two tablespoons of strawberry jam into a sauce pot with a good glug of brandy, melted it down and poured over the berries.  When the crust was browned and cool, I spooned in the marscapone cream, topped with berries and stuck in the fridge for a while to chill.  This step proved essential, because my renegade crust, made on the fly, was crumbly and would never have allowed for clean slices without ample time to chill.  You can see from the above picture that I could not locate my tart pan and so used my pie dish instead.  The poor quality of the photos can be blamed on the fact that they were taken on my phone because my children used all the memory and battery on my camera taking videos of our hamster.

Thinking of those in Japan

Tonight I am so incredibly thankful that my children are sleeping while I am sitting on my couch, comfortable in my home tonight.  My thoughts are with the people of Japan, and I hope that things do not get any worse for them.  Please help if you can by going here:

INTERNATIONAL FEDERATION OF RED CROSS

Or by texting "redcross" to 90999 to make a $10 donation.

A Neeeeeeeeew Cast Iron Skillet!!!

Those good folks at CSN Stores asked me to review another product, and I chose a cast iron skillet after seeing my friend Ben's impressive Tarte Tatin.  My skillet arrived yesterday and here's the low down.

The skillet was packed inside this insanity. This packing material definitely makes you think rare and deadly spiders are hiding somewhere in this box.

Alas, it was just my new skillet.  I went with Emeril's rendition because I figured that guy knows what he's doing when it comes to a skillet.  I chose to make a frittata. 

First I melted some butter.  This proved to be too much butter, so I removed about a pat and a half.

Next I added tomatoes.

Then olives.  No, not really.  That's broccoli.

Corn.  The kids like corn in their eggs.  Go figure.

Lots of cheddar cheese which, prior to this photo being taken, my daughter was eating by the fistful.

Daughter staring longingly at the cheese, now out of reach.

I used 10 eggs and 3/4 cup milk, salt and pepper.  Simmer on the stove at medium until the edges are starting to set.  This took a little longer than I expected, so I made some crispy kale, because yesterday my husband brought home about five bunches of kale and it was taking over the refrigerator.  You just cut out the big rib in the center of the leaf, tear into chip sized pieces, rub all over with olive oil, sprinkle on some salt and then bake at 300 for about 20 minutes.  Don't let it turn brown or it goes from delicious to horribly revolting.

Here you see my son taking a break from writing his biography project (George Washington) to enjoy some crispy kale.  You also see my daughter who insists on being in every photo.

I made a kale salad as well.  I chopped the kale, then crushed a clove of garlic in my mortar and pestle with some salt, added white wine vinegar, olive oil, parmesan cheese.  Delicious!

The frittata spent about six minutes under the broiler to finish, and voila.

It came easily out of the skillet.

All in all I would have to say that I LOVE the cast iron skillet.  It's really heavy, I needed two hands to take it out of the oven, but it will come in handy if we have an intruder, or someone just pisses me off. Well done Emeril and CSN Stores!

Oscar Night Drinking.

Tonight I will be watching the Oscars, even though the only movies nominated that I actually saw were The Kids Are All Right, the Facebook movie and Toy Story.  I saw the first two on demand - the only movies I see in theaters anymore are kids' movies, because a) I have kids, and b) I am afraid of the bed bugs.  I'm sure I will see the others at some point, if I remember and I'm not too busy watching I Shouldn't Be Alive on Animal Planet.

It irks me that Natalie Portman will win an Oscar, because she has been absolutely atrocious in every movie she's done since The Professional, and if you don't believe me, take a closer look at Closer.  Sure, she's smart and everything, but that doesn't make her a good actor.  Mike Brown is smart too, but I'm not sure I'd like to see him in a play.  No offense to Mike Brown, who may very well be a master of Restoration Comedy, as well as a prominent astronomer.  But Miss Portman became emaciated for her role in Black Swan, and whenever an actor loses a lot of weight for a role, they tend to get awarded for it, right Tom Hanks?  Whatevs, I really don't care who wins or loses anything, because I certainly don't feel sorry for movie stars not getting trophies.  I don't feel sorry for movie stars, ever.  They are highly paid and that should be all the reward they need, plus it's easy work.  Being a firefighter is hard work, so is being a teacher, also being a welder on a building 150 feet in the air.  That would be hard!

Nevertheless, I love the Oscars!  The glamour, the fashion, and the cocktails I will be drinking!  Tonight I will keep it simple, at the suggestion of my friend Maria, who thought I should make "a pitcher of martinis for one, as Sinatra used to do."  That sounds like a fabulous idea to me.  Here is how I like a martini.

Gin.  Preferably Bombay Sapphire, but if not then regular old Gordon's.  Pour it over ice.

Vermouth.  Take the bottle and wave it in front of your martini glass, then put it away.

Olives.  Pour a smidge of brine into the glass with two olives, more if you are hungry, then top with gin.

Sit back on your couch, in comfy pants, sipping your cocktail, and perhaps enjoying a meatball sub because you have the luxury to not be emaciated if you don't want.