Don't Forget the Cook-Off is Sept 30th!!!

The super fun cook-off hosted by powerHouse Arena is tomorrow, Wednesday September 30th from 7-9. You can find the recipes for the contest below. I have already received photos from people busily cooking away in their kitchens across the tri-state area! And remember, if you don't want to enter the cook-off you can just show up and drink complimentary WINE. Either way you are in for a swell time!

Fondly,
Heather

This lady is making something in a big pot. A really big pot! And she's hoping to tempt the judges by not wearing a bra. Just might work!

This one is channeling Julia Child and doing a really good job as she whips up her Drunk and Disorderly Donut Pudding! Looks like she's been drinking herself to get into character!
Atta girl!

This dude is taking it WAY too seriously! Relax buddy! Have some of that vino on the counter behind you. It's only Hamburger Casserole For When Nobody Loves You And Never Will, it's not brain surgery.

These pirate hipsters are chillin in their broken chair waiting for the repo man and enjoying a Foreclosure Fiesta, YAR!

You can send me your photos at heathereatsherfeelings@gmail.com

Cookies for Beleaguered Parents

Dear Reader,

There comes a time in the life of every parent who loves to cook that they want to share that love with their children. However, cooking with your children is fraught with peril. Here I have devised a perfect recipe to prepare you for the task.

Cookies for Beleaguered Parents

You will need:

Patience
6 cups flour
1 tsp. baking soda
3 tsp. salt
Water
1 ½ cup butter, softened
1 cup sugar
2 cups brown sugar
1 bottle vanilla extract
6 eggs (or more)
2 bags chocolate chips
Swiffers
Television

Preheat oven to 375° F. Ask Timmy to measure out 1 cup flour. When he dumps it on floor, show him how to use the measuring cup. When he dumps that on floor, show him again, using best patience. Repeat this process until you have 2 ¼ cups flour in a bowl. Add baking soda to the mix and ask Sally to measure 1 tsp. salt. When she mistakes salt for sugar and eats two spoonfuls, give her water to drink. A lot of water. Put 1 tsp. salt into the flour.

Notice out of the corner of your eye that Sally is now gagging and glistening for some reason. Deduce from the stick of butter in Timmy’s hand that he has greased his sister. Remove butter from his hands and put 1 cup into a separate bowl. Try to wash butter off Sally, wiping and smearing and causing much shouting and anger on her part. Give up and let her put the sugar into the bowl. Now DUCK! because she’s about to hurl a handful of sugar at her brother. Show her, again using indoor voice, that she can use the measuring cup to put ¾ cup into the butter.

Add 1 tsp. vanilla to the butter, then drink remainder of bottle. When you realize that kids have found spoons and are eating the brown sugar, grab a spoon for yourself, because brown sugar is good! Make sure to leave ¾ cup to put into butter.

It is very important that you make sure there are no little fingers in the bowl when you turn on the electric mixer! Don’t make that mistake again! Cream butter, vanilla and sugars until as fluffy as the butter/flour mixture in your hair. Ask each child to crack one egg into a bowl. Again, DUCK! Repeat as needed until you have two eggs ready to go. Put them in with the butter and keep mixing then add flour stuff.

Tear open bag of chocolate chips and eat. Don’t share with children, as that much chocolate will make them hyper. Open second bag, allot three chips per child and put the rest into the mix.

Drop onto cookie sheet and bake eight minutes. Enjoy with satisfaction that comes from self-righteous parenting. Make sure to turn off oven and turn on Noggin before falling asleep on couch.

Up next: reader mail! Tell me your troubles and I’ll tell you what to eat to fix ‘em!
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