Friday, September 10, 2010

Extreme Makeover: Husband Edition

Dear Reader,

I have had a letter from Grosse Point:

Dear Heather,
My husband and I have a sex life that can only be called lackluster.  He just doesn't seem interested and when I try and talk to him about it he just sits in front of the television watching Desperate Housewives.  It is really frustrating!  Last night I tried to ignite some romance with candles and a sexy nightie and he had a huge fit and said that he couldn't stand for one more minute to look at our ugly duvet which didn't even match the sham.  All he ever wants to do is tidy up the house.  What can I do?
Thank you,
Sue Ann

Oh, Sue Ann.  Here is the problem.  Your husband is gay.  He is not going to want to have sex with you ever.  But why not let him pick out some modern bedding for your boudoir?  Think of him as your own personal Nate Berkus.  I'm sure many many women would gladly trade in their husbands for one of those.  Cook up a big pot of my Mom's Old Fashioned Chicken Soup For Closet Cases to enjoy in your stylish new home!

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