Pizza for the Worst Day of the Year

Dear Reader,

Oh the sadness that overwhelms me on this day! I am full of melancholy and malaise. It is as though a dark curtain has descended upon the nation and there is no sunshine in sight. I’m not talking about the death of Michael Jackson, nor poor overshadowed Farrah and Ed McWhatshisname. I’m talking about the actual worst day of the year. Yes, today is the last day of school.

Of course my children are overjoyed that summer vacation is beginning. I’m sure there exist parents that are also thrilled, but my guess is that their kids go to sleep away camp. Mine will be here. Every day. For seventy six days.

And so, I offer you today a super delicious pizza just for grown ups to enjoy on their last day of freedom. Enjoy.

Pizza for the Worst Day of the Year

You will need:

Wine
Pizza Dough
Taleggio cheese – a lot
2 cups sliced mushrooms
Butter
Brandy
White Truffle Oil
Grated Parmesan cheese – one handful
Activities

Drop kids off at school with huge bags to fill with stuff that you will throw away later when they are not looking. Once home, pour yourself a glass of wine to relax yourself for the endless bickering that will begin come 3:00 and end at 8 AM September 8th. Heat a skillet over medium high heat. About the temperature it is inside their classrooms right now. Toss in the mushrooms. When they are soft, pour in a swig or two of brandy. Don’t drink the brandy, as you still have to pick the kids up later and you don’t want to smell too strongly of booze! Not again! Cook mushrooms until all liquid is absorbed and set aside.

Turn the oven all the way up to as hot as it is going to be in August when your air conditioner breaks. Stretch pizza dough and place on an oiled cookie sheet or pizza pan. Brush the entire top of pizza with white truffle oil and top with globs of Taleggio. Sprinkle on the mushrooms and Parmesan cheese. Dab a little white truffle oil behind your ears because it just smells so damn good.

Cook on lowest oven rack until crust is crisp and cheese melted. Enjoy, listening to the beautiful sound of a quiet house, and coming up with eighty or so activities that will occupy your kids until tomorrow afternoon.