Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Eclipse is only 21 days away...

In honor of the upcoming release of Eclipse, I wanted to share with you the latest results from my favorite time waster, seeing what I look like with other people's hair, which is what I did while watching The Today Show this morning.

Hello Bella, I love your hoodie. Do you like my fitted sport coat?

I don't know, Edward.  I just want you inside me. This is torture. Don't make me wait for the next movie.  It's too long!

Don't even think about it, bloodsuker. 

Who let the dogs out?

If you even imagine making her one of you, I will eat you alive.  Right after I tie my pants to my leg with a little strap. Aarrrrrrrrrf.

Would you guys cut it out already? I'm going home to stare out my window and listen to Muse.

Hi there guyth! I'm Drew. I'll hang out with you while the's gone. Letth party!

It is a pleasure to meet you, Drew.  However, you don't smell very good to me.

She smells pretty good to me. Perhaps she would like to accompany me on a peace keeping mission to Africa. I would only require that she takes my six children out for fast food and ice cream three times per day, and to alert the media when I am going to be with my children, so they can take photos.

OMG Africa? Like, I totally love everybody, but I'm not sure I want to go to Africa! Will they appreciate my new 1950'th look? I'm like a bombthell!

I was alive in the 1950's and you, ma'am, are not 1950s.

Can we just keep focused on me? God!

Sorry, Bella.

Yes, I'm so very sorry.

Whatever. Where's Renesmee?


Renesmee. Our daughter.

That's not until the next book.  I read them on the plane to Somalia.

Wait. We have a daughter and you name her... Renesmee?

Yeah. So what?

Seriously?  And I'm cool with that?

Yeah. Whatever Edward. I don't have time for this.

Renethmee ith like a really lame-o name!

I agree with Drew.  I'm sorry Bella. I'm just not that into you anymore.

Renesmee sounds HOT.

1 comment:

  1. How has nobody commented on this? It's amusing. How often does that happen?


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