Cookie Bowls For Nobel Prize Winners
You will need:
When you answer your phone and hear the following, “Gratis, du har vunnit Nobels fredspris!” Don’t hang up! You are not having a stroke, it is Swedish! In fact, you have just won a Nobel Prize! Be sure to ask, “Hur mycket är detta pris värt?” or “How much is this prize worth?” Ten million kroner? That’s about a million and a half in regular money. The next call you make should be to a real estate broker. While doing so, fire up your oven to 350°. If you don’t need the money, for example if you are a best selling author and person of influence already living in a nice house, a good idea would be to donate the money to charity. That would maximize the appearance of your good nature and show the world you are deserving of such an honor. Either way, break out some cookie dough. You can make the dough yourself – Toll House works well, but why not blow some of that prize money on dough that someone else made? Spray a muffin pan with baking spray and pop it in the oven.
Write to your alma mater’s alumni magazine, making sure that everyone you ever knew – especially that know-it-all freshman room mate who thinks she’s so important because she’s got a local radio show – knows about your good fortune. Take the pan out of the oven and squish cookie dough into the muffin cups leaving a well in the center. Stick pan back in the oven.
You’re going to need to make a speech, and it would be a good idea to write one. Make sure that it includes the following:
1 funny anecdote about your childhood
4 (at least) jokes – making at least one in Swedish would go a long way
6 counts of humility
7 hopes for the future
Practice the speech in the mirror, as you are going to need to keep a straight face while orating.
When the cookie bowls are brown and crisp on the outside, remove them from the oven and pop them out of the muffin cups and fill with a scoop of ice cream as you update your facebook profile to list profession as “Nobel Prize-winning Peacemaker.”