A Neeeeeeeeeew Mixer!

I haven't felt much like writing about anything, on account of the horrors I am watching in Japan.  But this conversation sort of snapped me out of it.  Keep in mind that he is nine, and she is six.

Daughter: How long would it take for an ant to walk around the perimeter of the whole earth?

Son: I don’t know.

Daughter: How long?!

Son: First, to answer that question I would have to know what the perimeter of the earth is.  Second, an ant would spend it’s entire life just walking across one country – one state.

Daughter: Just TELL ME!

Son: I can’t.

Daughter: You asshole.

So it seems that now is as good a time as any to tell you about the new mixer I was sent by those good people at CSN Stores.  I had pretty much destroyed my old mixer making gingerbread houses last Christmas.  It was a Black and Decker that I had picked up at Rite Aid after destroying the previous mixer making gingerbread houses the prior Christmas.  The new mixer is a Cuisinart and she is a beaut! 

This is the Power Advantage Five Speed Mixer - POW!!!  This baby would normally run you seventy five smackers, but CSN Stores has it available for $39.85.  Pa-POW!

I had a surplus of strawberries, owing to the fact that the local market had a two for one special and I bought two packs (are they called packs?) and my husband had gone in later that day and also bought two packs.  So, you see I had four packs of strawberries.  I made a little strawberry tart.

The Cuisinart Power Advantage comes with a booklet telling you what each speed is used for.  Here I whip together one cup marscapone with 1/3 cup heavy cream and 1/4 cup sugar, on speed numero three.

Ooh la la!  I love this mixer.  LOVE IT.  It runs so smooth, with no hand-numbing rattling, even on the higher speeds.  And trust me, I tried ALL the speeds.

The crust was made by grinding up some almonds, pecans, cinnamon, sugar, butter and flour in the food processor.  Honestly, I wrote down the amounts of each that I used, but I think my husband threw out the paper it was written on.  He's very tidy.  Too tidy, clearly.  While I baked the crust at 375 for about twelve minutes, I plopped about two tablespoons of strawberry jam into a sauce pot with a good glug of brandy, melted it down and poured over the berries.  When the crust was browned and cool, I spooned in the marscapone cream, topped with berries and stuck in the fridge for a while to chill.  This step proved essential, because my renegade crust, made on the fly, was crumbly and would never have allowed for clean slices without ample time to chill.  You can see from the above picture that I could not locate my tart pan and so used my pie dish instead.  The poor quality of the photos can be blamed on the fact that they were taken on my phone because my children used all the memory and battery on my camera taking videos of our hamster.

A Neeeeeeeeew Cast Iron Skillet!!!

Those good folks at CSN Stores asked me to review another product, and I chose a cast iron skillet after seeing my friend Ben's impressive Tarte Tatin.  My skillet arrived yesterday and here's the low down.

The skillet was packed inside this insanity. This packing material definitely makes you think rare and deadly spiders are hiding somewhere in this box.

Alas, it was just my new skillet.  I went with Emeril's rendition because I figured that guy knows what he's doing when it comes to a skillet.  I chose to make a frittata. 

First I melted some butter.  This proved to be too much butter, so I removed about a pat and a half.

Next I added tomatoes.

Then olives.  No, not really.  That's broccoli.

Corn.  The kids like corn in their eggs.  Go figure.

Lots of cheddar cheese which, prior to this photo being taken, my daughter was eating by the fistful.

Daughter staring longingly at the cheese, now out of reach.

I used 10 eggs and 3/4 cup milk, salt and pepper.  Simmer on the stove at medium until the edges are starting to set.  This took a little longer than I expected, so I made some crispy kale, because yesterday my husband brought home about five bunches of kale and it was taking over the refrigerator.  You just cut out the big rib in the center of the leaf, tear into chip sized pieces, rub all over with olive oil, sprinkle on some salt and then bake at 300 for about 20 minutes.  Don't let it turn brown or it goes from delicious to horribly revolting.

Here you see my son taking a break from writing his biography project (George Washington) to enjoy some crispy kale.  You also see my daughter who insists on being in every photo.

I made a kale salad as well.  I chopped the kale, then crushed a clove of garlic in my mortar and pestle with some salt, added white wine vinegar, olive oil, parmesan cheese.  Delicious!

The frittata spent about six minutes under the broiler to finish, and voila.

It came easily out of the skillet.

All in all I would have to say that I LOVE the cast iron skillet.  It's really heavy, I needed two hands to take it out of the oven, but it will come in handy if we have an intruder, or someone just pisses me off. Well done Emeril and CSN Stores!

A Neeeeeeeeew Microplane Grater!!!

If you have a flair for the mathematic, you might have noticed that I told you before that CSN Stores gave me $65, but I only spent $50 on the toaster.  No doubt you have spent the ensuing nights, sleepless, tossing and turning wondering, "What the heck did she do with the other $15?!?"  Well now you can rest easy, because what I did is get a new Microplane grater, that's what.

The grater was longer than I had expected, but that's okay.  It has a nice, cushy handle, so I won't hurt my delicate hand on a stubborn block of Parmigiana.

As you see, my hand is not really as delicate as I would like to think.  I was making an omelette, and wanted to include some sauteed spinach.  I broke in the grater with a clove of garlic.  

I wound up with a nice garlic paste, but had to scrape it off with my finger.  That was unfortunate.

Next, my very best friend, Gruyere.  The grater created lovely, soft peels of cheese.

Even though the cheese was hanging off the underside, it was fine because a swift tap on the side of the pan and they unfurled into the eggs.

The best part of the grater experience was that I was able to shred the cheese all the way down to the rind, leaving no edible Gruyere behind.

All in all, this grater is GREAT.  Get it?  It's GREAT.  A great grater... Yeah, you get it.

A Neeeeeeeeeew Toaster!

The excellent people at CSN Stores gave me $65 to spend on their merchandise.  I thought and thought about what I might like, and then my toaster gave out.  We received two toasters as wedding gifts and they both broke almost immediately.  In the ensuing years we had one toaster, purchased at Rite Aid for $12, that had it's own special button for Pop Tarts, and this one:

The main problem with this toaster is that it doesn't toast enough, which is a pretty big problem for a toaster.  Also, once the toast pops up, you have to wait like two minutes before you can push the little thing down to toast again, and by that time, you're sick of toast.

Also it is filthy.

I ordered a nice, sleek looking Cuisinart toaster from CSN Stores, and it arrived today.  I unpacked it and gathered the children round to make some toast.

Clearly much of the  idiot population of Australia, the UK, US and France purchase Cuisinart toasters.

Enough people must have become entangled in the toaster cord to warrant this warning.  That is something I would like to see.

Until now I was unaware that "overtoast" was a real word.

I intend to fill this page with toaster notes, or perhaps a log book.  "January 22, 2011, 10:34 AM  Inserted two slices whole wheat bread, set dial on three, toasted.  Result:  toast."

Shiny, sleek, clean toaster with slots so wide you could fit your hamster in them.

Bread, ready for toasting.

...and toasting... the thing you push down was very smooth and required no extra force or jiggling to get it to stay down.

Premature ejection!  This was no problem as the Cuisinart Metal Classic 2-Slice Toaster can retoast immediately.

My daughter preferred her toast cinnamon style.

The result:  two thumbs up.  I would recommend the Cuisinart Metal Classic 2-Slice Toaster for anyone who is looking to make two slices of toast!

Cheese Knives!

Dear Reader,

I told you a while back that I had ordered something from the nice people at CSN Stores.  Something that I really wanted.  Well the cheese knives have arrived!  I don't have a proper set of cheese knives, which is really unbelievable given the amount of cheese I consume.  I ordered the Henckles knives, and I guess I didn't look at the dimensions, because they are really big.  Big and scary looking!  See for yourself:

I'm not sure what the big guillotine one is for, but it's easily a foot long.

Last night we had a family gathering at my father's house in Connecticut.  The perfect setting to test the new knives.  Here's how it went down.

My stepmother, Cynthia, hesitates before slicing into the Camembert.  The extra long handle seems unwieldy, and its glinting blade threatens.

My husband reacts to my instruction to "cut the cheese."

My daughter would win the Hunger Games.  Especially armed with this dagger.

Wresting the knife from my daughter, I attack the Pecorino.  The knife's long handle actually makes it easy to carve a solid slice from the cheese.

The tip of the knife is pronged, allowing for nice flaking action.

The little knife slides easily into the Camembert,

resulting in a perfect slice of cheese to lay upon a cracker, and the remaining cheese is not smooshed down as so often happens with inferior cheese knives.

In summation, these knives are perhaps not the prettiest, but they are really excellent for cutting the cheese.

Sweet Potatoes for Homespun Minimalists

Dear Reader,
The fine people at CSN Stores once again asked me to review some of the products they have on offer.  I don't know if you know this, but CSNStores.com sells just about everything.  So with all that to choose from, I picked something I have wanted - NEEDED - for a long time.  But that has not arrived yet, so you will have to wait to hear about it.

I had a little money left over and settled upon a potato ricer, it being close to Thanksgiving, and just about the only time of year I would have need for such an item.  I chose the ricer made by OXO, because I am a fan of their ergonometric designs - not great to look at, but easy and comfortable to use, which is what you want in a device that is meant to squash an entire potato.  

My children, being born of another planet, do not like mashed potatoes, so I picked up some sweet potatoes.  I stuck them in the microwave (who has time for baking potatoes?) till they were soft, removed the peel, and stuck them in the bowl of the ricer, which was not quite large enough for one of the giant sweet potatoes, but most likely the right size for a Yukon Gold.  One squeeze and I had a perfect, lovely, velvety bowl of mash.  Just right for today's recipe.

Sweet Potatoes for Homespun Minimalists

You will need:

Sweet Potatoes

Butter

Salt

Pepper

Maple Syrup

Nothing else.  Nothing.

Prick potatoes all over with a fork and bake in a 475 degree oven for an hour or until they are soft.  You could do this in a microwave, if you didn't think they took up too much space on your counter.  Mash potatoes, add butter, salt, pepper and a dash of maple syrup to remind you of Mom and knickknacks.  Enjoy.

Sock-it-to-Me Halloumi

Dear Reader,

The fine people at CSN Stores asked if I would be kind enough to review some of the products they have on offer.  The answer, of course, was yes, I am kind enough!  About a week later this All-Clad Grill Pan arrived. 

I am a fan of All-Clad, though it doesn't look like that in the photo.  The pan is sturdy, pleasing to the eye, seemingly capable of grilling up the meatiest brontosaurus rump roast.  But what about something more delicate?  I put this grill pan to the test with Halloumi, the salty Cypriot cheese of my dreams.  I marinated the Halloumi in a little lemon, garlic and olive oil then tossed, not really tossed, more like gingerly placed, the cheese in the hot pan.  Then I took some sliced baguette, anointed with olive oil, and thunked that down in there, too.  The cheese was delicious, and my husband suggested it should be served, "with a cucumber," which inspired me to create a lovely little cucumber and tomato salad to go alongside.

But what to serve for the rest of the meal?  For me, cheese and bread is the ideal meal, but perhaps not for most.  I settled on a recipe that had been torn from the New York Times about five years ago and stuffed inside one of my cookbooks.   Turkish Bride Soup.  Yes, I know that Greece and Turkey don't really get along, by why can't they at my dinner table?  After all, I'm not 100% sure I really know where Macedonia even is, or what all the fuss was about in the first place.  The soup called for bulgar, but I don't really want a box of that stuff clogging up my cupboards, so I used basmati instead.

Delish.