Eclipse is only 21 days away...

In honor of the upcoming release of Eclipse, I wanted to share with you the latest results from my favorite time waster, seeing what I look like with other people's hair, which is what I did while watching The Today Show this morning.

Hello Bella, I love your hoodie. Do you like my fitted sport coat?

I don't know, Edward.  I just want you inside me. This is torture. Don't make me wait for the next movie.  It's too long!

Don't even think about it, bloodsuker. 

Who let the dogs out?

If you even imagine making her one of you, I will eat you alive.  Right after I tie my pants to my leg with a little strap. Aarrrrrrrrrf.

Would you guys cut it out already? I'm going home to stare out my window and listen to Muse.

Hi there guyth! I'm Drew. I'll hang out with you while the's gone. Letth party!

It is a pleasure to meet you, Drew.  However, you don't smell very good to me.

She smells pretty good to me. Perhaps she would like to accompany me on a peace keeping mission to Africa. I would only require that she takes my six children out for fast food and ice cream three times per day, and to alert the media when I am going to be with my children, so they can take photos.

OMG Africa? Like, I totally love everybody, but I'm not sure I want to go to Africa! Will they appreciate my new 1950'th look? I'm like a bombthell!

I was alive in the 1950's and you, ma'am, are not 1950s.

Can we just keep focused on me? God!

Sorry, Bella.

Yes, I'm so very sorry.

Whatever. Where's Renesmee?

Who?

Renesmee. Our daughter.

That's not until the next book.  I read them on the plane to Somalia.

Wait. We have a daughter and you name her... Renesmee?

Yeah. So what?

Seriously?  And I'm cool with that?

Yeah. Whatever Edward. I don't have time for this.

Renethmee ith like a really lame-o name!

I agree with Drew.  I'm sorry Bella. I'm just not that into you anymore.

Renesmee sounds HOT.

Angelina Jolie, Sarah Jessica Parker, Alan Cumming and Stuff.

Dear Reader,

I apologize for having taken a leave of absence.  I wish I had been someplace fabulous or just too busy to tend to this blog, but truth be told, I have just been cranky.  Crankier than usual, with kids off from school and both of them having the stomach flu at different times, and my husband working on a play so he is gone every night and I have nobody to watch TV with.  Not real problems, per se, but enough to make me feel like not writing here.  So today, to celebrate all this crankiness I am going to tell you about something that pisses me off.

I hate it when actors play a role and then they become the character - or take on significant attributes of that character for the REST OF THEIR LIFE.  Here are some examples:

Sarah Jessica Parker

We all know that SJP is  a FASHIONISTA - how could we not know that when her face is here and here and here.  But she wasn't always that way.  She became this way as a result of playing Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City.  Before Carrie she dressed like this:

Escaped from the harem with no time to grab a shirt!

and this:

Even the guy behind her (Don Draper?) does not approve of this ensemble.

and who could forget this OUTFIT:

This looks like what Blossom might wear to a fancy dinner at a dude ranch, but is actually what the new creative director of Halston once wore for an evening out.

Alan Cumming

The role Mr. Cumming has gotten stuck in is that of the Emcee in Cabaret.  Take a look:

Here we see Mr. Cumming in his Tony award winning portrayal of the Emcee.

and here he is now, after hours:

WILLKOMMEN!

Angelina Jolie

Ugh.  Does nobody remember the girl before she played activist globe-trotting mommy Mariane Pearl:

How does the horse taste Angelina?  Better than your brother?

And here she is now:

"I am so sorry for your pain.  I once played a woman who had similar pain.  Did you see that movie? Don't worry, nobody did."

Lots of other stuff makes me cranky, too.  Lots.  I just thought I would share this for today.